On the fifth night of sleep training, my baby went to sleep without a single whimper. I didn't coax him into bed, I didn't slip him into his crib while still asleep. I read him a story, turned off the light to nurse him, and laid him in his crib for the night. Surprisingly, he was relaxed and he just watched me contentedly while I tucked him in. I kissed him on the cheeks and turned to leave his room, but he didn't cry.
He slept until five in the morning.
And that was that.
This is a bittersweet moment for me. Before this week he could not sleep without me. Now I find it difficult to sleep without him. I find myself tossing and turning in bed, wondering how he is sleeping. I know that he is out of the woods for any SIDS risk, but I still can't help but tiptoe into his room and make sure I can still feel his sweet breath on the back of my hand.
There have been times in the year since he was born that I wished for nothing more than an empty bed and a quiet house. Now, that I have my empty bed and blissfully still house, I have a little ache in my heart. I want my baby curled up next to me laughing in his sleep. I will treasure those moments now that they are gone, and with a lump in my throat watch my baby turn into a toddler.
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