The End is Nigh.

My husband and I watched a documentary on a guy who has been preaching the end of the world for at least 25 years, which happens to be about the length of time I've been alive. I wonder if this qualifies me as living on the edge? If it does I don't feel anymore dangerous than I did yesterday, other than I tried on a new mascara without my contacts in.

Seriously though, the movie got me into a panic. I started thinking about what I have in the pantry and how long the public water supply would last. I even thought of which neighbors I would shoot if the med supply got low. As we watched the movie I sank into a mixture of depression and anxiety. If society as I know it broke down, it's not the loss of government, convenience, or fast food that I would mourn. It would probably be the loss of my sense of security. Although the more that I think about it I don't really have a sense of security to begin with. I always feel that the media at large is constantly saying the world is crumbling around us. The fact that people like Sarah Palin are trying to tell me everything is going to be ok isn't helping. I  might believe her if she was trying to sell me a bumpit, but not social security.

So what if? Well, we could head for the hills and build a cabin. This idea was shot down pretty quickly by the apocalyptic documentary, the guy said we'd probably be shot by the people who already live in cabins in the mountains. So, what do we do then? He basically said to pee on your lawn and grow your own food. Really.

Besides the idea of peeing on the very ground that my food is supposed to then grow from, it made sense: If you can grow your own food and learn to live off the land you'll make it. I am somewhat confidant that if I needed to, I could feed my small family with a garden. We would probably be happier that way really.

Phew. I feel a little better. Except that I can't even keep my houseplants green. I'm a woman who wants a cactus garden just so the plants last a little longer. I'll just count on some primordial instincts kicking in when I need them most. It may involve peeing on my lawn.